Lone Crusader

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

"The Alchemist"

" When you want something badly the world conspires to give it to you."

Seems the world is conspiring against me or maybe I have stopped wanting things badly enough. Standing alone on the battleground of job market in this period with a love and passion for a career, and not a mere "job"......... mocked at by batch mates, ridiculed for dreams, reprimanded for beliefs, I, for the first time today in last 7 months of my patient, long drawn, and exhausting fight, feel like putting it all down.

For the first time, earth seems to be moving under my feet. And I am alone, lone man standing now, with all opportunities to make money let go by..... still looking for a career, or may be not still...... wondering if all the literature about "dream", " career", "believer" a myth or this is just plain reality which needs to be accepted.

On the verge of a breakdown, my beliefs shaken, totally defeated, and a deep dark desert looming infront, don't know where to go, what to do, what next and when will this journey get over, or i would reach my own logical end of this life........ I fail to be "The Alchemist".

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Confused... lost... and unpredictable... I am a perfect blend of contrast's on this earth which god could have made, a gentleman yet rogue, sincere but naughty, organized but lazy, interesting yet boring, happy but sad, romantic but rude, compassionate but choleric, understanding but disciplined, strict but compromising, a team guy yet a loner. Caught in a vicious cycle of happiness and sadness, but believe I am not born to be in it.